Dishonour Abuse Is Child Abuse

At Freedom Charity, we work with children and adults affected by forced marriage, family coercion and related forms of abuse carried out in the name of so-called “honour”.

We are clear about this: dishonour abuse is child abuse.

Too often, people describe this harm as cultural, private or sensitive. In reality, it is a safeguarding failure that causes serious harm to children when warning signs are missed, minimised or acted on too late.

This blog explains what dishonour abuse looks like in practice, why children struggle to disclose it, and what effective safeguarding requires. Above all, it is written to support understanding, confidence and early action.

What is dishonour abuse?

Dishonour abuse describes a range of abusive behaviours used by families or extended networks to control children and young people who are perceived to have brought “shame” or “dishonour” on the family.

For example, it can include:

forced or coerced marriage
removal from education
restriction of movement or communication
surveillance and monitoring
threats, intimidation or violence
pressure to comply with family expectations
female genital mutilation

Where a child does not have a genuine choice, consent cannot exist. As a result, these behaviours meet the threshold for child abuse and safeguarding intervention under UK law.

Importantly, language matters. When people describe this harm as “honour-based”, it risks softening what is happening. There is no honour in the abuse of a child. Instead, the dishonour lies with the abuse itself and with systems that fail to intervene.

What dishonour abuse looks like in practice

Dishonour abuse rarely appears as a single dramatic incident. Instead, it usually develops through patterns over time.

Common indicators include:

repeated or unexplained absence from school
sudden withdrawal from friendships or activities
increasing restrictions at home
fear of speaking openly, particularly around family members
talk of being taken abroad or married “soon”
anxiety about family reputation or bringing “shame”
noticeable changes in behaviour, confidence or engagement

On their own, these signs may have more than one explanation. However, when they appear together, they can indicate serious risk. For this reason, safeguarding depends on noticing patterns early rather than waiting for certainty.

Why children struggle to disclose abuse

Children affected by dishonour abuse face specific barriers when trying to speak out.

For instance, they may be:

dependent on the very adults causing the harm
isolated from peers and trusted adults
closely monitored within the home
fearful of consequences for themselves or siblings
unsure who they can trust
worried they will not be believed

As a result, silence often feels safer than disclosure. This means safeguarding systems cannot rely on children telling their stories. Instead, protection depends on adults recognising risk and acting on concern.

Why delay and hesitation increase risk

Safeguarding failures in dishonour abuse cases rarely come from indifference. More often, they result from hesitation.

In practice, this can involve:

waiting for more information
recording concerns without escalation
explaining absence away
uncertainty about safeguarding thresholds
fear of getting it wrong
lack of confidence in naming abuse

Each delay increases risk. Once plans for forced marriage, removal from education or relocation move forward, a child’s choices narrow quickly. Therefore, early action can prevent harm, while late action often means responding after damage has already occurred.

Safeguarding requires clarity as well as caution.

Why language matters in safeguarding

Language directly shapes professional response.

When abuse is framed as cultural or sensitive, intervention often slows down. By contrast, when professionals name it clearly as child abuse, safeguarding pathways become clearer and action becomes more decisive.

Using the term dishonour abuse helps to:

centre the child’s experience
remove any justification for harm
support early identification of risk
reinforce professional responsibility

Clear language does not stigmatise communities. Instead, it protects children.

What to do if you are worried about a child

If you are concerned about a child or young person who may be at risk of dishonour abuse, you should:

trust your professional judgement
avoid promising confidentiality
record concerns clearly and accurately
share concerns with your safeguarding lead
escalate concerns where risk is immediate or increasing
seek specialist advice where appropriate

In safeguarding, inaction is never neutral. Acting early can prevent harm and protect children from irreversible outcomes.

A final word

Dishonour abuse is child abuse. It thrives on silence, hesitation and uncertainty.

Children affected by family coercion cannot wait for systems to become comfortable. Safeguarding works best when concerns are named clearly and acted on early. That is how harm is prevented. That is how children are protected.