Boys and men forced into marriage

Boys and men forced into marriage: the hidden safeguarding failure

When people hear the words forced marriage, many still picture a teenage girl taken abroad in secret.

That picture leaves too much out.

Girls remain at serious risk and need urgent protection. However, boys and men can also be victims. Families may take them overseas, pressure them at home, or arrange marriages openly while relatives and guests look on.

Forced marriage does not always happen in secret. Sometimes it takes place in full public view.

A wedding hall may look joyful, and the family may appear proud. Yet the person getting married may feel frightened, trapped and unable to refuse.

That is why the UK must stop treating male victims as rare exceptions. Boys and men forced into marriage form part of the safeguarding picture. If professionals only look for the victim they expect, they may miss the victim standing in front of them.

Can boys and men be forced into marriage?

Yes. Boys and men can be forced into marriage through threats, emotional pressure, family control, fear of disownment, sexuality-based coercion, financial pressure, violence or fear of bringing shame on the family.

Forced Marriage Unit statistics show that forced marriage remains a live safeguarding issue in the UK. In 2025, the Forced Marriage Unit received 1,295 contacts about possible forced marriage and/or FGM. It provided tailored assistance in 406 cases.

In 2024, male victims accounted for 29% of cases where the Forced Marriage Unit gave advice or support.

That figure should change the national conversation.

Male victims are not an afterthought. They are children, teenagers and adults whose lives may be shaped by fear, coercion, silence and family pressure.

Some boys hear that they must marry to protect family reputation. Others hear that they must continue the family line. Parents may say they know best. Relatives may also threaten to disown, harm or cut off anyone who refuses.

For gay and bisexual men, forced marriage can also become a way to hide or “correct” sexuality.

A child does not have to say the words forced marriage before professionals recognise risk.

Why the Nottingham case matters

A recent Nottingham prosecution brought this issue into sharp focus. The Crown Prosecution Service reported that a husband and wife from Nottingham received suspended sentences after arranging for two boys under 18 to be taken to Pakistan to be married.

Nottinghamshire Police said its specialist honour-based abuse team investigated the case.

This case matters because it involved boys, overseas travel, school safeguarding, specialist police work and prosecution. It also shows why professionals must act early, before families move children beyond everyday protection.

However, not every forced marriage involves overseas travel. Some forced marriages happen in the UK. Families may arrange them through visible networks, and relatives may discuss the plans openly.

The harm does not disappear because the abuse looks like a wedding.

To outsiders, a forced marriage may look like a family celebration. To the victim, it can feel like the end of freedom.

Public display can hide private fear

Forced marriage may involve many witnesses.

Relatives may know. Guests may suspect. Friends may hear conversations. Neighbours may notice distress. Professionals may see changes in behaviour and still fail to ask the next question.

Therefore, silence becomes even more dangerous.

Forced marriage often hides behind public respectability. People may use polite language, while families present the event as joyful and ordinary.

However, safeguarding must look beyond appearances.

A public ceremony does not prove free consent. A smiling photograph does not prove choice. A child who stays silent may still feel terrified.

“My father said it was his decision who I married”

Freedom Charity has heard accounts from boys and men who describe direct and frightening pressure.

One man said his father told him it was not his decision who he married.

“He said it was his decision who I married. He said unless I agreed, I would be dead to the family.”

Those words should concern every professional.

Being made “dead to the family” is not ordinary parental disappointment. It is emotional exile. For a young person whose home, safety, money, community and identity may depend on family, that threat can feel impossible to resist.

Forced marriage does not always begin with physical violence. It may start with repeated emotional pressure, surveillance, shame, family meetings, religious manipulation or withdrawal of love.

The victim may appear calm. They may even seem to agree. Yet agreement under fear is not consent.

Gay men forced into heterosexual marriage

Some of the most hidden victims are gay men forced into heterosexual marriage.

One man described threats after his family learned about his sexuality. He said his father threatened to kill him and his boyfriend if he did not marry a woman.

Another said relatives told him that being gay was “un-Islamic”, that punishment would follow, and that he had to repent and marry.

On his wedding day, he said he felt shocked and scared.

These accounts expose a serious safeguarding issue. Families can use forced marriage as a weapon against sexuality. They may try to erase identity, hide family shame and force someone into a life they did not choose.

The man being forced is a victim. His boyfriend may also face danger if relatives threaten or silence him. The woman entering the marriage may suffer too, because she may enter a relationship built on coercion, concealment and fear.

Any children later born into that marriage may also live with trauma, secrecy and emotional conflict.

Forced marriage rarely harms only one person.

Forced marriage is not about religion

No faith justifies coercion, threats or violence.

Forced marriage is not religion. It is abuse.

When a young person hears that their sexuality is sinful, that they must repent through marriage, or that family honour depends on obedience, professionals must recognise the risk.

The issue is not faith itself. The issue is the misuse of faith, culture, family loyalty or community pressure to remove another person’s freedom.

Freedom Charity uses the term dishonour abuse because there is no honour in coercion. There is no honour in threatening a child. There is no honour in forcing a son or daughter into marriage.

Why Freedom Charity speaks to boys as well as girls

Freedom Charity’s prevention work has always spoken to boys as well as girls.

That matters because boys make up around half of most school audiences. If forced marriage education only speaks to girls, half the room may wrongly believe the subject has nothing to do with them.

In school assemblies, classroom sessions and safeguarding discussions, boys need three clear messages.

First, they can be victims.

Second, they may know a sister, cousin, friend or classmate who faces risk.

Third, they must never become bystanders when people use honour, family pressure or control to justify abuse.

Freedom Charity has distributed more than 100,000 copies of But It’s Not Fair to children, schools, professionals and libraries. The book helps young people understand forced marriage, coercion, family pressure and dishonour abuse in language they can recognise.

For some children, a school assembly or a book may mark the first time they realise that what is happening to them is not normal family pressure. It is abuse.

For some boys, it may also mark the first time they understand that being male does not remove their right to protection.

For others, the lesson may help them recognise risk facing a sister, cousin, friend or classmate before harm happens.

Prevention must never be gender-blind. However, it must also never be girl-only.

Forced marriage education has to reach every child in the room.

Schools are often the first place risk appears

Schools, colleges and universities often see warning signs before anyone else.

A young person may become anxious about travel. Attendance may change. A pupil may mention an engagement, a wedding, family pressure or fear of disappointing relatives.

At first, the signs may look small.

A child may withdraw socially. They may stop talking about future plans. Anxiety may increase before school holidays. Distress may follow family conversations.

Professionals should not wait for a perfect disclosure.

Instead, they should ask calm, safe and open questions. One useful question is:

“What would happen if you said no?”

That question can reveal more than a direct question about forced marriage.

What professionals should look for

Professionals should never assume that boys are safe because they are male.

Warning signs may include:

anxiety about travel or school holidays;
• sudden unexplained absence from school or college;
• talk of an engagement or wedding;
• fear of disappointing parents;
• family control over phones, friendships or movement;
• distress linked to sexuality;
• withdrawal from education or career plans;
• sudden pressure to visit relatives overseas;
• a young person saying they have no choice;
• threats of being disowned, harmed or cut off.

If professionals suspect forced marriage, they should follow safeguarding procedures and seek specialist advice.

They should not try to mediate with the family. Alerting relatives may increase risk.

Why male victims often stay silent

Boys and men may face specific barriers to disclosure.

Some fear that others will see them as weak. Others believe nobody will take them seriously. Many depend on family for money, housing or immigration support.

Gay and bisexual men may also fear being outed.

Other young men worry about siblings, mothers or partners. Some love their family while still suffering harm from them.

That complexity makes skilled safeguarding essential.

Victims do not always arrive with clear language. They may arrive with anxiety, loyalty, shame, contradiction and fear.

Professionals must know how to read that risk.

What must change

The UK does not need to ask whether boys and men can be victims of forced marriage. The evidence already answers that question.

The real issue is whether safeguarding systems are ready to see them.

Schools need confident prevention work before crisis point.

Police need specialist knowledge.

Social care needs cultural competence without cultural excuse-making.

Health professionals need to recognise distress linked to family control, sexuality and coercion.

Communities must also hear the message clearly. Love is not obedience. Marriage without free consent is not family honour. It is harm.

Freedom Charity’s message

Aneeta Prem MBE, founder of Freedom Charity, said:

“When people think about forced marriage, they often picture a girl. Girls remain at serious risk, but boys and men can be victims too. Some feel pressured to protect family reputation. Others hear that they must continue the family line. Some face threats because of their sexuality. A person may sit through a wedding in public view while everyone around them celebrates and nobody asks whether they are free to say no. That is why Freedom Charity educates boys and girls. Forced marriage is not a women’s issue alone. It is a safeguarding issue, a children’s rights issue and a human rights issue.”

Boys and men must no longer be invisible

Boys and men forced into marriage have remained hidden for too long.

Sometimes the abuse happens in secret. At other times, people simply fail to recognise what stands in front of them.

A child sits in an assembly.

A boy becomes anxious about travel.

A young man hears that refusal will make him dead to the family.

A gay man faces pressure to marry a woman.

A groom smiles for photographs while fear takes over inside.

Safeguarding begins when adults see what families, communities and institutions may prefer not to name.

Boys and men can be victims of forced marriage.

Freedom Charity will continue saying it until every professional, every school and every community understands it.

FAQs about boys and men forced into marriage

Can boys be victims of forced marriage?

Yes. Boys can be forced into marriage through pressure, threats, emotional blackmail, fear of disownment, family honour, sexuality-based coercion or violence.

Can men be victims of forced marriage?

Yes. Adult men can also be victims if they face coercion, threats, emotional pressure or abuse that removes their free choice.

Can gay men be forced into marriage?

Yes. Some gay men face pressure or threats to enter heterosexual marriage to conceal sexuality, protect family reputation or force them to “repent”. This is abuse.

Does forced marriage always involve travel abroad?

No. Some cases involve overseas travel, but forced marriage can also happen in the UK. It may happen in secret, or it may happen in public with relatives and guests present.

Why does Freedom Charity educate boys as well as girls?

Boys make up around half of most school audiences. They may face risk themselves, know someone at risk, or need to understand that honour, family pressure and control must never justify abuse.

Get help

If someone faces immediate danger, call 999.

If you worry about forced marriage, speak to a safeguarding professional and seek specialist advice. Do not confront the family if doing so may increase risk.