Threats of being outed
Someone may threaten to tell your family or community about your sexuality, relationship, messages or gender identity unless you agree to a marriage or follow their demands.
LGBTQ+ Forced Marriage: Help and Rights
Freedom Charity · LGBTQ+ forced marriage and family abuse
You shouldn’t have to marry to hide who you are.
Worried about being forced to marry because of your sexuality or gender identity? You can ask for help, even if you have not come out.
Family pressure can begin long before a wedding. Whether you are hiding your identity, frightened of being outed or being told to marry someone you have not chosen, you deserve to be heard and supported.
AI-created illustration; not a photograph of a service user.
Are you worried about your safety?
If you are in immediate danger in the UK, call 999. You can also contact the government’s Forced Marriage Unit on 020 7008 0151 (Monday to Friday, 9am–5pm) or email [email protected]. Outside those hours, the UK government lists 020 7008 5000. Check its official guidance for current arrangements.
Freedom’s help informationForced Marriage Unit ↗Your identity · Your choice · Your safety
You deserve to be safe being yourself.
Whether you are out, questioning, keeping your identity private or frightened of your family’s reaction, no one should use who you are to pressure you into marriage. Your concerns deserve to be heard without judgement.
Get support without coming outYour choice. Your rights.
Marriage must be your choice.
In an arranged marriage, both people are free to say yes or no. In a forced marriage, a person is pressured or compelled to marry without freely choosing to do so. Threats, isolation, intimidation and emotional or psychological pressure can be forms of coercion — physical violence is not required.
Nobody has the right to make you marry to conceal your sexuality or gender identity, protect a family’s reputation or end a relationship. You can ask for advice before there is a wedding date, and even if you are still unsure how to describe what is happening.
Know the warning signs
When family pressure becomes abuse.
Some LGBTQ+ people are pushed towards marriage because relatives want to hide, deny or try to change their sexual orientation or gender identity. You may be gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, questioning or unsure how to describe yourself. You may be keeping your identity private because you fear what could happen if your family found out. None of this takes away your right to choose whether, when and whom to marry.
Pressure to marry or change
Relatives may insist that a marriage to someone of another sex will make you different, protect the family’s reputation or end a relationship they disapprove of.
Abuse, control and isolation
You may face intimidation, threats of rejection or homelessness, violence, restrictions on friends or money, or monitoring of your phone and social media.
Fear of being taken abroad
A planned family visit or holiday may become frightening if you are being pressured to marry or fear that relatives will prevent you returning. Seek specialist advice before travelling if you are worried.
Help without pressure to disclose
You can seek support without coming out.
You do not have to announce your sexuality or gender identity to your family, or be ready to explain it to everyone else, before asking about safety. If you are hiding a relationship, questioning your identity, or frightened that someone may discover it, you can start by describing the pressure, threats or worries you face. Ask a service how confidentiality and safeguarding information-sharing work before disclosing sensitive details.
What if no marriage has been arranged yet?
You can seek advice as soon as pressure, threats or unsafe travel plans concern you. You do not need to wait for an engagement, a wedding date or physical violence.
What if I simply need someone to talk to?
Freedom Charity has experience supporting LGBTQ+ people affected by forced marriage, family pressure and related abuse. We can listen to concerns within our safeguarding remit, explain possible next steps and help you find appropriate services. If you need wider support about sexuality, identity or relationships, Switchboard’s national LGBTQ+ support line can offer someone to talk to. For LGBTQ+ people experiencing abuse, Galop offers specialist support.
How to contact Freedom safelyDigital safety
When online threats put you at risk at home.
A threat to share your private messages, dating-app profile, photographs or location can be more than online harassment. If someone uses that information to force you into a marriage, control whom you see or threaten your safety, tell a safeguarding professional or specialist service. If your device or accounts may be monitored, use a safer way to contact help where possible. Sudden changes to passwords, tracking settings or message history may alert an abuser, so seek safety advice before making changes.
Quick answers
Common questions
Can my family force me to marry to hide that I am gay?
No. In the UK, forced marriage is against the law. Pressure does not have to involve physical violence. Threats, emotional coercion and abuse can all be relevant. You have the right to choose whether to marry.
Can I ask for help if I have not told anyone I am LGBTQ+?
Yes. You can talk about fears of family pressure, a marriage or threats to expose your identity without telling your family. A service should explain how it protects information and when safeguarding duties may require sharing it.
What should I do if a friend is being threatened?
Listen without judgement. Do not out them, contact their relatives, attempt family mediation or promise absolute secrecy. Help them find a safe route to professional advice. If a child or someone else is in immediate danger, follow urgent safeguarding or emergency procedures.
UK government forced-marriage statutory guidance specifically recognises risks to LGBT people whose relatives seek to conceal or change their identity through marriage.
International LGBTQ+ safeguarding
Facing forced marriage or family abuse outside the UK?
You may be living overseas, studying abroad, visiting relatives or worried that a trip will be used to force you into marriage because of your sexuality or gender identity. You might be hiding who you are to stay safe. Your fear deserves to be taken seriously, wherever you live.
Legal protections, attitudes to LGBTQ+ people and the safety of contacting authorities vary considerably between countries. In some places, disclosing your sexuality or gender identity can expose you to further danger. Do not assume that family mediation, contacting local police or revealing private information will be safe in every situation. Seek advice from a trusted specialist organisation where possible.
If you are in the UK and worried about being taken abroad
Seek safeguarding advice before travelling. A family holiday or celebration can become an opportunity to pressure someone into marriage. The UK Forced Marriage Unit advises people at risk and can explain available protection.
If you are already abroad
British nationals may be eligible for consular support through a British embassy, high commission or consulate and the Forced Marriage Unit. Eligibility and what can safely be done depend on the circumstances. If you are not eligible for UK consular help, find a trusted service in your country. Freedom’s international help and languages guide lists directories for local services.
Specialist international LGBTQ+ resources
Rainbow Railroad — request help provides a route for LGBTQI+ people facing persecution to seek support, subject to its assessment and capacity. ILGA World’s legal database explains how laws affecting LGBTQ+ people differ by country; it is information, not an emergency helpline. These are independent organisations, not Freedom Charity services or confirmed referral partners.
How Freedom can help
Freedom Charity is UK-based and has experience supporting LGBTQ+ people affected by forced marriage and related family abuse. We take concerns about being outed, threatened, isolated or taken overseas seriously. Our helpline information explains how to contact us and what we can offer. We cannot guarantee immediate responses, local intervention or emergency assistance in another country. If a child is involved, or someone faces urgent danger, seek appropriate specialist safeguarding or emergency help without waiting for a reply.
Practical next steps
How to seek help safely.
- Choose a safer way to make contact. If relatives can see your phone, accounts or browsing, consider another device and a safe place to speak. Ask the service how it can contact you without increasing your risk.
- Explain what worries you. You can describe threats, pressure to marry, fear of being outed or travel plans, even when you have not told your family about your identity. Ask how the service handles confidentiality and safeguarding information.
- Avoid putting yourself at greater risk. Do not assume confronting relatives or arranging family mediation is safe. If you are abroad, the international help guide may help you locate appropriate local services.
What does the law say?
Forced marriage is a criminal offence in England and Wales. Forced Marriage Protection Orders can provide tailored civil protection. Specific rules also apply to marriage involving children and people who lack capacity. The legal position differs between UK jurisdictions and internationally.
Read Freedom’s forced marriage and protection information or consult UK government guidance ↗.
For professionals and trusted supporters
How to support someone safely.
Take the person’s concerns seriously. Ask about immediate safety, any planned travel and the safest way to communicate. Follow your safeguarding procedures, seek specialist advice and avoid contacting family members as a first response. Forced marriage is sometimes described elsewhere as honour-based abuse or honour-based violence; Freedom uses the term Dishonour Abuse because abuse has no honour.
Professional safeguarding resourcesFind a route to helpInformation reviewed: 19 October 2026. This page provides general safeguarding information, not a substitute for emergency assistance or individual legal advice. Personal case studies will only be added after appropriate consent and safeguarding review.